Category Archives: Stories Shared

My Family Betrayal

Our family is heart-hurting me. My family does whatever they can to hurt me. I was adopted out as a baby. My whole life, as I battled with depression and Fetal Alcohol Effects, and mental illnesses, my family went just short of completely ignoring me.

I hurt so deeply, that I spent 15 years self-harming. I never felt loved. And they still don’t love.

My mother died, and I was there for her. I did burn out the last one and a half months. I am not kidding you one bit. She exhausted me. I was so tired could barely stand up. I ran on coffee and pure determination to care for a mother that never loved me. I knew she never would. I did it anyway.

At the funeral, my brother ignored the contribution I had made, even going so far as to deliberately hurt me. I thought about suicide. I really did, until I thought, no! I won’t give them the satisfaction.

I hurt deeply. I did more for her than anyone else. Not that I wanted anything. I didn’t want any inheritance from a woman who maligned me to everyone.

Looking back, I would have still done it, but my family tries to hurt me a lot. I am a deeply sensitive person and I am devastated at such cruel mistreatment. I was grieving my mother… went to her funeral today, while my brother took over her place in emotionally abusing me… I have deep anger at them.

They judge ME, when I, as my mother put it, put them to shame. I just hang my head in depression and loneliness.

It’s really really hard to be treated so cruelly when I’m grieving and STARVING for love, compassion, and understanding. I guess I should block them. They’re never getting anything out of me again.

It’s not that I hate them (but I do hate their cruel behavior) it’s mostly a matter of trying to protect myself against a family that enjoyed hurting me during a very very dark time in my life.

To everyone else, going through the hell of having an unloving backstabbing “family,” my heart breaks for you and with you.

We must support one another, and you are not alone.

I’m sending you a great big warm safe hug. Be strong like always and DON’T let them get the best of you. You matter. Try not to feed the wolves any bad words or actions, because then they’ll just say “see what an evil person he or she is.”

So, hold up your head, and behave, and never forget that you are not alone and that it’s THEIR shortcomings, not yours, that matters.

I bet you have a beautiful, loving soul, and I know that you are better than them. Cut them out of your life before they try to use you, hurt you, and your energy is best spent on those who DESERVE it. God bless you.

And Stay Safe,

~ Mary

 

Evil Sister Terrorizes Sister and Mother

I am being Evicted from my mother’s land and my sister is making me go to court and making me pay for court cost and she is leaving my mother by myself and has made it so difficult for me that I cannot go help my mother because of my evil sister.

She has her 3 spy cameras and 3 Alexas and says she has them put up to watch mother but she has crossed a line with me that cannot be forgiven. My soul, mind, heart, body, and everything I have is on the line and she is enjoying herself.

Why is she ruining my life and everything including my time with my mother? I have not been able to get a shower. I am suffering and she is leaving my 84-year-old mother by herself from 8:pm until 8:am and I have just been bullied completely out of my mother’s life and off her land and none of them are doing anything about her mentally abusing me and my mother.

I am not able to do what she is telling me to do and she is doing it so I will lose my life forever, and my soul. This is by far the most she could ever do to ruin my life and make me sick and make me homeless and I will not make it through this and she is getting away with murder.

Why is she making me leave? She had my brother move out and because I was going to have my mother’s house inspected for black mold and asbestos, just to see what she has been breathing, all hell broke loose.

She has flipped it over on me, so she doesn’t get in trouble because she’s not been doing anything about my mother’s home.

She has stolen her identity and she has been making my mother live like a prisoner in her house and she has 3 spy cameras inside and 3 outside plus 3 Alexas. She monitors all my sisters and whoever else that have the spy cameras on their phone, so they can listen and watch everything that you say or do, then use them as weapons against me or my brother.

They are trying to make me lose everything and they have forced me out of my mother’s life. They have all betrayed me and disowned me and abused me and are all evil and deceitful. They lie and slander me and falsely accuse me of doing something all the time.

They never wanted me around. They want me gone because I stopped being their slave last month because they had been sending videos of me to different people and to my son making me look bad after they had provoked me to express anger. But she did show them that part. Only what she can use to manipulate me and slander my name.

My life is in danger of being abused and homeless for the wintertime and I don’t know what to do anymore. My RV is all I have for now.

All of them have husbands and homes and they have all been doing good.

They have never wanted me to be a part of the family and now they have evicted me and they do not seem to be sorry about it. They don’t have enough sense to know that they are going to have to pay for what they have done to me and to my mother.

She’s a prisoner in her home. They just let her sit in one place all day long and before I started working with her to get her to go to bed earlier they would just let her sit up in that chair all night. Never help her out.

All they seem to care about is money. It’s just a job to them because they are getting paid and they are making me leave because they have never wanted me around. They have always hated me and pretended otherwise, but it was all fake as they are.

They all think that they can get away with this mental cruelty and abuse and mistreating my mother and me and my brother.

Before they all showed up, we were a happy family. My brother lived in the basement and I had my RV outback. I don’t have any money to rent anything yet or a place to put my camper and everything I have.

I have just been sick and none of you so-called “family members” seem to care and they have not taken up for me. My mother is all alone now, because of foolishness, jealousy, greed, pride, stubbornness, and unforgiveness.

This is the straw the broke the camel’s back

This is not of God’s will and soon they will find themselves in trouble because they are wrong.

Linda May

Screwed Over by Family

I always grew up thinking it was normal to be bullied physically, mentally, emotionally, endlessly. I was always shamed, blamed and in trouble. Fast forward to age 61 and nothing has changed.

I always hoped that somehow this ‘normal’ could be purged with forgiveness, love and being the bigger guy.

My widowed ‘mother’ screwed me over for 11 years with her neediness while my siblings went on holidays and tended their own nests. I helped with everything she needed to “live independently” and recently spent six gruelling months organising in home aged care in a highly un navigable system. I had surgeries myself that i was recovering from, and needed to keep working a i am a divorcee on a low income. I was arguing a lot with her because she demanded so much and refused to follow doctors instructions often, and refused to address her hearing loss that is largely selective. I put my hand up for help and my “brother” said he would take over for awhile as he was retiring. We had a conversation during which he validated all my concerns and added a few of his own. I gave him details of everything in complete trust and faith following that conversation. The deal was that i would be on hand to help as needed and to take back over when he needed a break. He and “mum” then, without any word to me, changed all contact details, barred me, stripped me of powers of attorney snd guardianship, and undoubtedly exec of estate and altered the will. I wrote to her and expressed my disgust and sadness…that i would do mediation but no response.

I do not believe that she would be deemed unfit to change poa etc as she can turn the charm on and off, but i do believe she would be easily coerced by her son to do anything he wants as no matter how negligent a nd absent he has been, he has always and forever been her golden boy and i have always and forever been the scapegoat.

There is a will, and i know that it will be changed and that i can challenge it on several grounds, but that is not my focus right now. I am independent and have not used her as a financial crutch in any form. I never even asked for petrol money. I am gutted that people who i have tried to love and give a fair go would treat me worse than a criminal. But they do a d they did.

I do get cranky and swear and slam the odd door, but not without immense provocation. Her last words to me were “fuck off”. So i did. And i will remain fucked off, even when she inevitably has a fall or needs something done, or when this honeymoon phase is over and her usually MIA offsprings arent visiting her so much….novelty worn off..

I am very upset at myself for offering up, unconditionslly, such a chunk of my life that i will never get back. I cannot apologise to myself enough. It is that list chunk of life that i grieve for, and need to move on with life.

If she begged me to return to her life now, there would be boundaries. But she would never agree to them as he would not let her. So i am moving on with life as best as i can and consider that it would be unhealthy for me to attend her funeral when that time comes.

I wish on every star in the universe and beyond that i had broken contact many years afo.

AL

Betrayed by Family too

I have also been betrayed by family in the worst way possible by 3 adult siblings (and a couple of their spouses). My story is so unbelievable that I don’t tell anyone ever about it, not even other victums. It basically involved 3 adult siblings in their 40s teaming up, “getting rid of” my parents in order to take their house and money, and get their inheritances immediately instead of waiting for our parents to die on their own. One of the parents was also horrible (like them), the other a good person (like me). In the process they also tried to “get rid of” me (i ran and hid for my life basically), I can only assume to get my share of inheritance. It doesn’t end there either. They did the same thing to one of the spouses parents for inheritance, “got rid” of them. Sick sick people. Yet from the outside they appeared to be nice decent respectable people. They were very good at wearing masks.

The why:

What I want everyone to know that’s here is that many times these relatives have a personality disorder and are a narcissist, sociopath or a psychopath (this term isn’t used anymore clinically). It runs in families which is why an entire family can be narcissists or sociopaths. They are all part of a group of personality disorders called “cluster b” personality disorders. They all share a complete lack of empathy for others, and are not capable of feeling remorse or guilt no matter what they’ve done. Selfishness and being self centered is also prominent. They just don’t care about anyone but themselves and aren’t capable of caring – their brains are wired differently. They can murder their own mother or their own child and really not care, like they were stepping on a bug or something.

Where we come in:

Many times in a “cluster b” family, one (or more) child will NOT have inherited the personality disorder. The child will usually be more sensitive, have empathy for others, believe in doing the right things, etc. This can even go to an extreme to the point of being what’s called an “empath”. These normal and nice people like us born into a family of narcissists or sociopaths become the target, or the “scapegoat”. The reason we are attacked and betrayed is because we are GOOD PEOPLE and they are not – they are like a pack of wolves wearing “nice people masks”.

Please research narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths to get an understanding of how your family was capable of doing to you what they did. Sadly this will also make you aware that unfortunately there really is no hope with them and you’re best bet is to disappear from the lives and break all contact for the rest of your life. The current term is going “no contact”. It’s hard and I think about them daily, but I know what they are, and they are incapable of being anything else. And I will not let them have another chance to betray me again or be responsible for my demise (where they failed the first time).

Knowing the reason doesn’t make things better but it will make you understand why and how it happened to you. Be strong and make your own life completely independent of them.

JRR

Betrayed by My Family

I also know what it is like to be betrayed again and again by my family.

Just tonight I rang my father to tell him I’d found the mother and her child that my sister had denied was the result of a union with her deceased son 18 years ago.

I know, it sounds positively Dickensian.

My father had asked me to find out the woman’s name and details a week ago. I needed to speak to my youngest sister to get those details. I had recently discovered that I had been told what appears to have been a series of lies that repudiated the baby’s paternity and maligned the mother’s character.

My nephew’s superannuation appears to have been the reason the mother’s claim was rejected. My youngest sister provided the contradictory evidence. She then volunteered to find the current whereabouts of the woman and her child., but I felt she was going to procrastinate as she has done before.

My dad had asked me to find out the identity and name of the mother with a view to knowing more about her and her child.

Today I rang my father with the news he had been looking for; I had found her. My father crossly said, “Now what did you do that for?” I replied, “Because it is the right thing to do and you asked me to!” He then gave me a long spiel about how unfair I had been to put the matter onto my sister who “already had far too much on her plate”.

He went on to repeat even more negative information about the young woman told to him by my youngest sister, suggesting she had not only one extra boyfriend to my deceased nephew, but two. This is new gossip about the woman.

I really feel that both my sisters have consistently slandered this woman. There is simply too much information that is sordid and too much of it is contradictory.

Both sisters have revealed a propensity to lie in the past.

My youngest sister told my father that the woman had never reached out to the family. That is simply not true. She reached out to both my sisters and two of my nieces, inviting them to her son’s Christening, but they all rebuffed her. I repeatedly tried to explain to my father that my sister had volunteered to find the woman.

I had later decided to go ahead as well as my sister had been very unclear about when, as well as where she would look for the woman and now 18 year old child. She has a history of making commitments and not following through on them.

Once again I feel betrayed by my sister. As a result of talking to my youngest sister, my father has decided that this woman is evil and she would only bring problems to the family.

He is no longer interested in knowing her and her child even though there is a strong possibility that the child is his great-grandson.

It has been years since I have had anything to do with my sisters. I only recently, at my father’s request began seeing them again.

Despite helping both of them almost whenever they’ve asked me, they have ganged up on me time and time again. They demonize me and do not speak to me for years at a time

Friends warned me not to get too involved with my sisters again this time. I think they were right. Now my youngest sister is laying low and won’t even answer the phone to me.

This is all taking place at the same time as I am taking care of her adult son, rent/board free who has had a lot of issues.

I despair of ever getting through to my sisters. I really feel they both suffer from borderline personality disorder. The youngest one is too easily led by the older one. I have realised that I am completely out-of-step with both of them because I have a totally different value system.

I am about doing the right thing. My sisters operate on the basis of expediency and self-interest. They are about “letting sleeping dogs lie” as my father said.

I am also really cross with my father. He may be an old man, but he knows right from wrong and he had been fully supportive of my quest before my youngest sister got into his ear. He really will not think things through for himself.

I have decided that I am going to go ahead and contact this woman and meet her son and judge the situation for myself, without telling the rest of the family.

My nephew, currently living with me, is 100% supportive of me, saying that his mother is too easily poisoned in her thinking by my other sister. He agrees that it is the right thing to do to contact the woman and her son to find out the truth and establish an ongoing relationship if at all possible.

~Julie-Anne Bennett

I Get Family Betrayal

I truly, truly understand what the people who are betrayed by their families are going through.

I have been betrayed by my daughter and son-in-law. They were experiencing cash flow problems, so I lent them a lot of money in good faith, thinking that of course, they would pay me back.

However, all I’ve had in return for my generosity is lies and deceit. Whenever I try to broach the subject of the money with my daughter she gets very abusive, and I just end up feeling devastated.

I’m 61 and was relying on that money to help me in my retirement, but they have cleaned me out. They are better off now. Far better off than me. But it looks as if, sadly, I’m not going to get my money back.

I’m heartbroken.

I have no other family to turn to.

One of my sisters lives on the other side of the world and the other lives in a different part of the country, and she doesn’t want to be seen as the bad aunt by supporting me, which is ironic because my daughter can’t stand her and her family. Not that my sisters and I were ever close in the first place. My mother made sure of that!

My daughter also makes it very difficult for me to see my grandchildren, so it’s a double whammy of betrayal. I don’t think she has said a kind word to me in years, even though I have tried my best to be a supportive mother. I know that I’ve done a lot more for her than some mothers I know would do for their children, so I just don’t get it!

Why? Why? Why?

My daughter is toxic beyond belief. She told me recently that she is happier not having me in her life. Of course, if I’m not in her life, she won’t have to pay me back will she?

I know that I’ve just got to accept that she is lost to me. Being without family is indeed a very lonely place to be.

With that in mind, I would like to start a support network for like-minded people. Is there anything this site can do to help me in this endeavor?

~Lynn Dean

I Tried to Be Good but Was Betrayed by My Own Family

I’m crying after reading How to Get Over Betrayal by Family.

My whole life I tried to be the good daughter but the harder I tried the more my family beat up on me. I was the scapegoat.

Every single success I had was met with name calling or criticism or beatings.

Even as an adult, I was treated differently from my siblings.

There was one point in my life where my sister betrayed me and my children then I found out through my father, so matter of factly, that he and my mother were also behind it.

One could say I was conspired against. The worst part about this was I was just on the crux of ‘making it’ it a very competitive industry. They sabotaged me so badly that I was in financial ruin and couldn’t attend a huge presentation for one of my projects. I missed something so special to me. I had been working on it for years. But that wasn’t the end of it.

Even from afar they would call people up and tell them what a rotten mother I was.

My mother died recently and nobody bothered to tell me. Not that I shed a tear since I can’t imagine my worst enemy doing what she did to me throughout my childhood. But again, my siblings probably raided the house. She died without ever saying she was sorry or was proud of me or loved me.

This happens to a lot with people. And since we still go by ‘honour your parents’, people don’t talk about the abuse and betrayal at the hands of their own family.

This leads to self-blame and a continuation of attracting saboteurs.

I told my doctor, I get better treatment from strangers than my own family. Knowing my history, she said she wasn’t surprised.

In my case, I will probably never see any of my family again. Which, logically, I know is the right thing for me, but I still need to give up and truly mourn the dream of ever having a loving father and siblings.

~MK

Pain of Family Betrayal

Oh my, the pain, the hurt, the betrayal, the estrangement, and the loneliness!

I feel it all but I also feel love and gratitude.

I know who I don’t want to be and I thank those people who aren’t family who have listened to my anger and tears and stuck by me.

I feel for all of you who have shared your stories of betrayal by family members. I think we all should come together and build our own community of love and family.

Holidays, birthdays are the hardest and facebook hurts.

What thing I do know is things are not what they appear. Happy family photos aren’t even real most of the time.

Anyway, I won’t go on about my loss of family.

I can tell you I am 53, divorcing after 25 years of marriage, I’m estranged from one daughter, during a time I needed family my sister betrayed me and my mother and aunt who agreed with my betrayal have joined my sister as she is getting married and didn’t want to not be part of it. So I have been discarded.

I have had severe trauma from my father who is a narcissist over my life as well.

So that said I have to focus on what I do have… one daughter who does communicate with me, a few loyal friends and I have reunited with my first love of 30 years ago who is my rock and his lovely kind mother.

I have a new tribe. It’s very small, I lost a lot of friends over my divorce.

Anyway, I’m not perfect but I love deeply, I am loyal and I would help anyone and I have supported my mom and sister for all my life. Yes, you heard it: since I was 6 years old I raised my mother.

I’m a natural caregiver, however, those days are gone. I’m now going to nurture myself and those that truly show me love and respect. Life is too short and none of us know how long we have?

So please, you beautiful loving hurt souls… cry when you need to and validate yourselves, love yourselves, find your tribe…

Still, trust and be kind.

Those that have hurt us are not fully evolved in my book, but they gave us one gift and that is a spiritual awakening about ourselves and we have grown stronger and wiser because of this adversity.

My wish for us all…. peace and kindness ❤️ Now go find your tribe (New family)

~Karina

Betrayed by Son and His Wife

I did too much for my son he had no father in his life I felt guilty so I indulged gave into his demands and soon realized nothing I could do for him was ever enough he left school early blamed it on me even though he left after I got his all his stuff uniform etc he left school and later on in life when his brother was doing well got a well payed job he got jealous he blames me even though he joyride the principle car

He was never going to be able to go back to school after that and his jealousy of his brother got worse as he thought by marrying an older woman who had a car and nice house

He was young and dumb only now does he realize that what he thought was the easy way out to get what he wanted with out having to work for it but he didn’t as his wife is a control freak and she always has to have her own way

He is emasculated in his own home. No wonder he made attempts to end his life but is it just to get attention as he made one before, took vitamins. He doesn’t seem to realize that she can use this against him if in time the age gaps getting worse.

He started trying to get back into her good books by treating his mother bad as she’s only 10 years older than her. They wouldn’t let her get in pictures with them for her daughters debs even though they invited her over just to upset her. She pretended it didn’t bother her, put up a nice post and tried to not let them upset her but they stepped up again this time when she told them straight up that she thinks her family, who are much larger, could actually help out more as she’s done minding the autistic child in her home.

Even for them, they are considering part-time resident care but in the meantime he pretend to to have a crisis or maybe he was and as they never let her see her other grandchild it isn’t in her interest for her to let them use her home.

He pulled down curtain rail broke blinds damaged numerous stuff in her home laptop etc and they never paid her back for it. Took it out on her when they didn’t follow the instructions on medication and blamed her when she went on holiday to blackpool.

She tried to ring hospital but they wouldn’t let her have permission to get information on how he was. They wouldn’t take the birthday present that was a water fountain. He loves playing with water as autistic kids can be and denied him it just to spite me, and for a whole year she watched the toy out the back and anger set in. She threw the toy into their garden. It was returned the next morning but she felt better for it as she took their abuse and bad treatment for so long since 2013.

She invented her daughter in law for dinner didn’t eat it, was never not once invited on holiday with them or Christmas.

It’s now 2018 they come over the day before Christmas eve take the stuff, be lucky to see a glimpse of them, and no Christmas day visit.

She offered to take kids to pantomime. They said they were bringing kids never offering for her to go. He comes over with him unannounced and expects us to drop everything for them. I be busy doing things in my house, they leave as house is not to his standards, even though his child has wrecked it. Never tidies it up, just leaves kids have gadgets, barely noticed me. I’m on my device too.

I want to spend quality time with them not always on their terms. I want to take her after school, do things with as they have her very spoiled. I don’t want to make the same mistakes with her I did with him. He got everything, more than my other sons. He abandoned his younger brother who is now not well. He’s not involved as he has his autistic child to deal with but it’s her. We both don’t feel welcome in their home. They only come over when there is something in it for them.

He’s selfish. He and his wife only care about them and I’m done. Sometimes you just have to let go of people who don’t care about you. They never helped me out when his brother was in hospital. They didn’t collect us and said get public transportation, even though he had a Zimmer frame as he was only after getting an operation and stitches. Had to beg nurse for taxi fare after getting sandwiches for him and I rang them before that and they said they were but after a no show I rang again. They could not.

After all I spent it on food. She felt sorry as I couldn’t believe that they would be so heartless but I never asked them for anything after that, even though I did still help them out.

I was starting to feel a mug but kept hoping they would change their selfish ways but they didn’t. They cut me out, got my daughter to take over the grandkids, and I felt a double betrayed as they turned her against me as well.

I’m done with them all. After they used me to mind her when she was in hospital but as soon as she’s available they want to use my home, no use their own, and he had the cheek to say I don’t do anything for the grandkids. I did more than her family but I think they want her family’s attention by getting them to mind the grandkids. It’s not going to work, as they haven’t in 7 years, so I hope my daughter cops on like I did.

Eventually, when the get respite or residential, if they do, they lose money. So I don’t think they will.

His wife is money hungry. She’s just going mad that I finally have it good as his brother is actually helping me out for once. The other two-legged it when they got in relationships, never handing up money to their mother.

~Donna