TAKE BACK YOUR POWER

Now you’re back in the driver’s seat of your life, you’re taking your power back. From here, you can safely and assuredly do what you need to do to confidently set the boundaries to protect you from the family member who stabbed you in the back.

It’s up to you.

You can still maintain a relationship with a family member who has betrayed you, just remember this:

Do Not Retaliate.

If you do, that just makes you sink to their level, and it’s an indication to them that they won.

If they can get you to react, they win.

It proves they have control.

Don’t give them the satisfaction.

Instead, bless them.

I use Hoʻoponopono.

You can place your hand over your heart and say (with your inside voice, but it can be interesting when you try it with your outside voice) these words:

I’M SORRY.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

THANK YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

These releases both them from you, and you from them, without any judgment.

Do not respond. Just let it be. Change the subject, or walk away.

No defense. No guilt. No accusation. No shame. Only love.

If they keep hounding you, you are under no obligation to put up with that.

Leave.

They may be family, but you already know you can’t trust ‘em as far as you can throw ‘em. So love ‘em but keep yourself at a safe distance.

After a while, they may come back and want to ask forgiveness and reconcile with you.

You’re still loving them, but you don’t have to trust them.

If you choose to, you can allow them to prove their trustworthiness, little by little, over time.

You can forgive them, but you’re no fool.

You learn from their past transgressions.

You don’t judge them for it, because who knows what was going on in their life when they betrayed you. Life changes. People and circumstances change. You are highly adaptive, and you are not accusatory because that’s beneath you.

You are cautiously aware.

God bless you for getting free and taking your power back.

If you’d like to take more steps to get complete control of your life, you can check in with any of my friends at St Paul’s Free University, or if you think you’re being called to help others who have been betrayed by family, you can get ahold of any of us here today, and we can help you help others who are walking in those very same shoes.

Or you can contact me. I’m David M Masters, and you can find me at davidmmasters.com

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CUT THE CORD

We’re going to cut that cord today, so that you can stop letting them drain you of your power, allowing you to get a grip and get ready to take your life back.

With respect to all our participants here today, and all those that are watching live, online, I am going to take you through a process that will cut the cord between you and your betrayer.

If you are a little freaked out about engaging a process which may connect the energetic tie that binds you to your family member, keep this in mind:

You can participate in this exercise and break the tie, and if you feel like it was a bad idea, you can reconnect the cord at any time.

So, if you’re ready, I want you to clean off your lap, stop taking notes, and put your hand on your heart, and close your eyes.

Take a deep breath in, hold it. When you release it, say “Ahhh…” Ready? Ahhh….

Good job.

This next breath in, I want you to imagine your breath going right into the area of your heart. Ready?

Breathe in. Hold it. This time when we release the breath we’re going to “Ah” with a little more energy and enthusiasm. Ready, “Ahhhh!”

Okay, now I want you to rub your hands together, like this, just like as if you were sharpening a knife or a saw. Your hands are going to be the tool we are going to use to cut the cord. Keep sharpening.

Do you feel the warmth?  Okay.

Put your hands palm-down on your lap.

Open your eyes.

Now, watch me I will show you the cutting process, then I want you to do it in unison with me.

If goes, like this, I slap my legs twice, then clap my hands. I’m going to do this three times. On the third time, when I clap my hands together, we’re going to hold them briefly while I count to three, then with force, we’re going to push them past each other in a cutting motion and say, “Cut!” Like this… (see example)

Ready? Here we go.

Slap slap clap

Reset

Slap slap clap

Reset

Slap slap clap hot it!

1, 2, 3, CUT!

Okay, put your hand on your heart and repeat after me,

“I’m sorry.” (I’m sorry)

“I love you.” (I love you.)

“But you gotta go.” (But you gotta go.)

Now wave, and say, “Bye bye.” (Bye bye.)

Now you are free.

Now, it’s not over. We still have work to do, but at least you’re disconnected.

This will give you some space and keep them from draining energy from you. And they will try to reconnect to you again, because they will notice the loss of your energy, and if they do, all you have to do is rub your hands together, do the cutting motion and say, “Cut,” to yourself. Then you’re free again.

Now it’s time to release the emotional angst, those feelings from being betrayed by someone you trusted, by someone you should be able to trust, by your family member.

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When you’ve been betrayed, you need to stop the active negative vibration of that relationship. Every second that you are allowing yourself to marinate in the vibration of betrayal you die a little bit.

I’m not kidding, family betrayal is more serious than a heart attack.

Every moment that passes and you are in that vibration, your immunity system is compromised.

The longer you stew in it, your biological system rots away. You lose sleep. You are more susceptible to disease and decay. And if you let it go long enough, you can get Cancer. Let it go long enough, and you will die.

So, the first order of business is to get yourself toa place of safety and security.

Remove yourself from the vicinity of the family member who has betrayed you.

If for whatever reason you are unable to isolate yourself from the perpetrator, then you can create a safe place within your physical environment. Stay in your room if you have one, and if you don’t have a room, you can pull a Viktor Frankl and create a safe place in your mind.

Frankel was a Nazi war-crime medical guinea pig, who was tortured by Nazi scientists as they conducted despicable experiments on his body, but he was not going give them the satisfaction of destroying him, so he made a safe place to go to in his mind.

He vowed that while they may be able to torture his body, he was not going to let them have him, who he really was, and he protected his mind, heart, and soul by creating a safe place, a refuge of solitude that he would go to in his mind.

If you’re interested in finding out more about Viktor Frankl, you can check out his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, if you dare. It is brutal, enlightening, and if you’re feeling like you’ve got it bad, believe me, it could be worse.

Okay, let’s say you’ve created a safe environment for yourself, what do you do next?

Then begins the process. The process of dealing with the emotional trauma of the family betrayal.

You must be willing to create your own identity, separate from the family member, whoever it is.

Who is the family member who is most likely to stab you in the back?

You might be surprised to discover that your mother is the most likely the family member who will betray your trust, followed by your spouse, then both parents?

What? Is that crazy?

If you can’t trust your mom, who can you trust?

The Top 7 Family Members Who Will Betray You

1. Mother
2. Spouse (3x male)
3. Mother and Father
4. Children (3x male)
5. Sibling (3x female)
6. In-laws
7. Extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc.)

Interestingly, male spouses and children are 3-times more likely to stab you in the back, while female siblings are 3-times more likely to betray their siblings.

Now that we know which family members are betraying you, what can you do about it?

Cut Them Loose
& Let Them Go

Cutting a family member loose is not as easy as it sounds because the bond goes very deep. It’s as if you are connected by a very strong cord, and you are.

The invisible cord that emotionally binds you to your family members is not unlike an umbilical cord. It is an energetic cord which you share that energy passes back and forth between the two of you. When negative energy is transmitted by your family, you feel it.

And when they desire to drain your energy for themselves, you feel the life force as it drains from you. When a family member sucks the life out of you, this is not unlike an energy vampire.

If you don’t do something to cut the cord, he or she will continue to drain you of your resources until there is nothing left of you.

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