Our family is heart-hurting me. My family does whatever they can to hurt me. I was adopted out as a baby. My whole life, as I battled with depression and Fetal Alcohol Effects, and mental illnesses, my family went just short of completely ignoring me.

I hurt so deeply, that I spent 15 years self-harming. I never felt loved. And they still don’t love.

My mother died, and I was there for her. I did burn out the last one and a half months. I am not kidding you one bit. She exhausted me. I was so tired could barely stand up. I ran on coffee and pure determination to care for a mother that never loved me. I knew she never would. I did it anyway.

At the funeral, my brother ignored the contribution I had made, even going so far as to deliberately hurt me. I thought about suicide. I really did, until I thought, no! I won’t give them the satisfaction.

I hurt deeply. I did more for her than anyone else. Not that I wanted anything. I didn’t want any inheritance from a woman who maligned me to everyone.

Looking back, I would have still done it, but my family tries to hurt me a lot. I am a deeply sensitive person and I am devastated at such cruel mistreatment. I was grieving my mother… went to her funeral today, while my brother took over her place in emotionally abusing me… I have deep anger at them.

They judge ME, when I, as my mother put it, put them to shame. I just hang my head in depression and loneliness.

It’s really really hard to be treated so cruelly when I’m grieving and STARVING for love, compassion, and understanding. I guess I should block them. They’re never getting anything out of me again.

It’s not that I hate them (but I do hate their cruel behavior) it’s mostly a matter of trying to protect myself against a family that enjoyed hurting me during a very very dark time in my life.

To everyone else, going through the hell of having an unloving backstabbing “family,” my heart breaks for you and with you.

We must support one another, and you are not alone.

I’m sending you a great big warm safe hug. Be strong like always and DON’T let them get the best of you. You matter. Try not to feed the wolves any bad words or actions, because then they’ll just say “see what an evil person he or she is.”

So, hold up your head, and behave, and never forget that you are not alone and that it’s THEIR shortcomings, not yours, that matters.

I bet you have a beautiful, loving soul, and I know that you are better than them. Cut them out of your life before they try to use you, hurt you, and your energy is best spent on those who DESERVE it. God bless you.

And Stay Safe,

~ Mary